Thursday, January 19, 2006

dixie, and other things people whistle

I had the most bizzare dream last night:

When I was younger, I used to referee soccer and basketball games through a local rec center. I did this for years, and it gave me some extra money while I was going to school.

Last night I dreamt that I was walking into the old rec center, and they were getting ready to have a basketball tournament. A game was just getting underway, and they needed an official to run up and down the floor. They picked me to go into the game, but I (for some strange reason) was wearing these large brown hiking boots, and couldn't run very well. So, to improvise, they found me some zebra-striped flip flops which were apparently standard issue for referees. Then I ran out onto the floor, and the game was underway.

The only problem was that I didn't have a whistle. If a ref needs anything, he needs a whistle. How can you keep the game under control if no one can hear you? So I was running up and down the court, trying to remember my hand motions from all those years ago, and trying to think of how I could whistle if I needed to. Well, it happened. A player ran out of bounds and I had to make some kind of noise, so I whistled. I puckered my lips into position and I blew loudly. Surprisingly, everyone stopped. They looked at me, and the game went on as normal.

Now I am not usually a loud sleeper. I don't snore and I don't really move a lot. But I have no doubt that I was whistling out loud last night for all the world to hear. I've been told in the past that I talk and even sing while sleeping, and I'm sure this time that something unwanted came out. I was trying too hard to whistle in my sleep to not have broken the dead of night with a piercing tone.

I sincerely apologize to all who were bothered by this disturbance.

10 comments:

Chandster said...

good story. i enjoyed it. i especially appreciate the flip flops.

jo portnoy said...

one of my sisters once punched me in the nose while sleeping.

Chandster said...

one of my friends hit me in the face three times with her pillow while I was sleeping.

mmm... said...

Why 3 times? Why not 4, or 1? Or infinity? I'd have gone with infinity, or maybe 1 less than infinity. Sometimes I have dreams I'm fighting someone, and i wake up by kicking or punching the wall. Good times...

Anonymous said...

You know how to whistle don't you, just put your lips together and blow. By the way maybe you weren't dreaming. I heard people talking about the strange man from out east who was the ref at their basketball game last night and he showed up wearing strange looking flip flops. Not only that but he kept making arm pit noises to indicate a foul. Once he even put his lips together and blew. Sound familiar? You weren't dreaming...you were in a time warp.

jo portnoy said...

did you get mono and are afraid to hang out with us because we'd find out? It's ok. wait, is it a flesh eating virus? cause you can keep that.

Chandster said...

It's okay. You can tell us that you have the kissing disease. We know all about it.

jo portnoy said...

kisser.

blake said...

Actually I kissed a cannibal with mono, and next thing I knew, my lips were bleeding.

Still keeping my Bag Balm handy until the scabs go away. Course you, hampster, know all about that stuff anyway . . .

jo portnoy said...

burrrnnnnnn.

but true.