a blessing from the Chinese

I was at a conference for Christian international students last week, and one of the things we were consistently given during meal/snack times was fortune cookies. I can recall eating at least four of them, which is more than I've ever had at any one time. I also had someone of immense spiritual maturity choose my fortunes for me, so I would definitely know I was hearing the voice of God. Many thanks to the Chinese as well for providing me with this hidden gem. Here was my best one:

life in the fast lane

My dad and I have this uncanny method of conversing every now and then which centers around things that we've just gotten to do or see for the first time. I didn't notice how much we do it until recently, but it's quite often. A typical conversation can go like this:

"Hey Alan, I got to do something today that I've never done before."
"Let me guess. You let a fireman use your wooden stepladder to climb up a burning building."
"No, actually I got to feed hardboiled Easter eggs to a flock of wild geese. They didn't seem to mind the coloring."

Well last night I realized that many of my extravagant/first time experiences center around things I've done while driving. I don't know why I do this. I think I'm safe driver, and I've never had a ticket. But for some reason I've managed to do some interesting things while speeding down the road. Such as:

--Composing a song, with pen, paper, and guitar chords, while on the interstate

--Eating Chinese out of a styrofoam dinner plate

--Making a puppet show where all the characters were members of a wacky town council (complete with different voices)

--Playing catch with a baseball and glove

--Sing an hour's worth of worship songs (some of which had me crying)

--Passing a McGruff Dare Cop with no lights on his car, and still getting pulled over

--Having a rhyming battle with a neighboring van via walkie-talkie

I guess sometimes people spend so much time on the road that they just snap. You reach a point where you have to do something creative and different or you'll go crazy. I don't know how people with long commutes handle it.

here are my (un)qualifications

When driving home today, I listened briefly to a replaying of a Supreme Court case from 1996. The hapless lawyer making his case had just about had enough, and the justices were barraging him with questions he couldn't answer. I felt bad for the guy. It wasn't his fault that his client didn't have a case.

It caused me to think though, "I could never do this job. Well, at least not any time soon." I kind of pride myself on being a fairly talented person, but, in a public display of humility, I will list the top 10 jobs I am most unqualified for. They are as follows:

1. African Braid Specialist
2. Brazilian Jiu-jitsu Instructor
3. Skywriter (i.e. plane w/smoke)
4. Supreme Court Justice
5. Fashion Consultant
6. Professional Beekeeper
7. Riverdance Enthusiast
8. Horse Jockey (sorry Barbaro)
9. WWF Personality
10. Terrorist

uncharted water

While on a visit this weekend to Virginia Beach, I came across three things I've never seen before. They are as follows (listed in order of importance):

Symmetrical black seashells (these are earrings, not actual seashells)









An entire school of dolphins jumping in the afternoon limelight

A trike formed from the rear portion of a VW Bug (impossible to find on Google, but here are a few capable substitutes)